RAW & EXPOSED

So, here’s the thing. I’ve been wanting to start a blog for a long time. Like, a very long time. Anyone who knows me, knows my nose is always stuck in a book. Like seriously, always. Since I’ve started college, I’ve picked up the habit of reading when I walk places on campus, (yes mom, I still check both ways before crossing the road) but it’s hard to fit reading for fun into my schedule of required reading for my classes; so, this is my compromise. Anyways, I love reading. Because of my love of reading, I decided to take a Creative Writing class. Each time I tell someone my schedule and I mention this class, they physically cringe! I absolutely LOVE Creative Writing and its hands-down my favorite class! In class, we’re assigned poetry to read, and the assignments consist of writing poems. However, my professor encourages us to write about anything. Whether its poems, short stories, long stories, or anything in between, she just wants to see us writing. With this bit of encouragement behind me, I decided to start a blog. The only problem is that I don’t know what I want to write about.

 

My major is undecided. I’ve been praying pretty hard for God to spark an interest in me that leads to a career path I can head down and pursue wholeheartedly. For some reason though, I always end up thinking about getting lost in the current novel I’m reading or about writing something for my nonexistent blog. Sometimes I think about the studying I need to be doing. Sometimes.

 

The book I’m currently engulfed in is Unashamed by Lecrae. Which by the way is AWESOME! If you haven’t read it, I suggest you check it out. In his book, he shares his struggles and some other pretty deep stuff. He’s raw. He’s exposed. He wants his fans to understand that they’re not alone, the Holy Spirit fills everyone that is a believer. He also wants his fans to know that even the people the world considers to be successful don’t always have it all together in spite of their outward appearance. They struggle too. One point he had that really stuck with me was, “Sometimes God lets the darkness settle before He pierces it with light. And that’s what happened on my miserable walk that night. Because the light was about to show up and change everything.” My first thought was hey, I love this quote, but it doesn’t really pertain to me and my situation because he was so obviously in a completely different place in life than I am, but when I later went back to underline it, it spoke differently to me. Sure, I’m not struggling with some of the “serious” life-threatening things that he was struggling with at the time, but I’m struggling in my own way. We all are. So, here I am patiently waiting for my light. All in His timing.

 

There are numerous verses I could share with y’all that are all about trusting God. It’s funny how something that seems so difficult to do is repeated so many times in the Bible- our go to book. I could be cliché and throw Jeremiah 29:11 out there- don’t get me wrong, this is an awesome verse- but I want to share another verse I came across that has kind of stuck with me:

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” –Proverbs 16:9

Obviously, I could declare a major tomorrow, but God has placed patience heavy on my heart about this particular decision. I know, ultimately, that whatever I end up doing with my life, I’m going to love God and glorify Him through it all, but it’s my hope and prayer that He reveals those certain steps He has planned out for me. All in His timing.

 

In one of my favorite devo books, Raechel Myers says, “Doing can be messy and difficult. We will feel broken and ill-equipped. Even still, our lives are to be tangible reflections of the gospel- not because of who we are and what we do, but because of who He is and what He’s done.”

 

So, here goes nothing. I’m doing. I’m throwing myself out there. Very raw and very exposed. I pray that I can declare a major in the next year and that I can find topics to write about, and I pray that my readers- if I have any readers besides my family and friends I beg to read this- will be patient with me as I pour my heart out.